It was a normal Wednesday. If I could get to the butchery early enough then I would have enough time in between the girls activities to do all the other jobs and still be able to prepare lunch for everyone. Unusually Emily was home so she would be available to receive our delivery scheduled for that morning. Good I will cook something simple with pork fillet I think. Yum.
Noon arrived and as planned I had cleaned up the butchery and was set to leave, put lunch on, fetch Alice and then finish lunch. Oh yes better just pop to the loo before I leave. Great all done off we go reach for door handle to open loo door.....
The loo door did not cooperate and open. There was this dawning realisation that the board I had been looking at propped up by the loo door, about which I had thought "oh dear that could fall across the door and lock me in" had done precisely that. No worries, I think Gavin will come past and feed the sheep that are here soon, but no it was Wednesday and he would feed them late as he had to load the trailer. Typical, the one day I had not organised Emily to fetch Number 3 from the bus stop, who was going to fetch her? No-one is the answer. Ho hum I had better settle in for the duration.
AAARRGGHHH WOT NO BOOK!!!!! The butchery toilet facilities are the size of a loo and a sink with no window and my mobile phone was in the other room. So after the mortifying lack of reading material, that left cleaning the loo and sink as the only other options and once that was complete it was wait patiently which by the way is extremely difficult when the day is organised down to the minutiae.
I heard the bus drive down the road with Number 3 on board wondering where everyone was and still there was no rescuer for me. Some time later the hunger pangs started and I figured that this would mean the arrival of a person as my absence may not be noticed, but the absence of lunch would definitely require investigation. Lo and behold I hear the quad and there is my hero, Gavin. Howling with laughter at my predicament, his response to my question about why he decided to come and look for me at 1.30pm, a whole hour and a half after my incarceration was that he assumed Emily had just forgotten to fetch her sister, and the fact that I was not returned from the butchery was neither here nor there, but the fact that there was no lunch was an issue, so he was coming to find out what my plan had been. Hmm.... refer to title of the blog.
It is possible to cook roast pork fillet, yellow rice and cabbage for 5, in 40 minutes. It is not, however, possible to keep a straight face when you have been locked in a loo for an hour and a half RAOTFL :-)
Moral of the story is ALWAYS have reading material in your loo to protect your sanity in an emergency situation, and possibly fit doors that open inward whenever possible.
I am farming sheep and goats on the Dordogne/Gironde border with my husband and our 3 children. We have an on farm butchery and sell our meat direct to the public via the markets and delivery points in our local area